Attack of Teh Memes
by MiyakoEenYurFayce
Summary: Amu doesn't care if there's toast in her pants, or if there's a needle in her butt, or if the needle's on FIRE! She knows she's an awesome person! But if she's awesome, why is she suddenly being followed by internet memes? WARNING! Complete Randomness!
1. Pedobear

**Miyako: MUAHAHAHAHA!**

**Amu: I'm scared! She can't make **_**another**_** story, can she!?**

**Ikuto: She can, and more than likely she will.**

**Miyako: I'm in a bad mood! Someone took the last orange juice box… So to make me happy I'm torturing Amu with this... what is it again?**

**Ikuto: A story where Amu gets tortured.**

**Miyako: RIGHT! Now who wants to disclaim!? Amu? Okay! DO IT NOW! -evil satanic voice-**

**Amu: M-Miyako doesn't own S-Sailor Moon or Shugo Chara…

* * *

**

"Rise and shine, Amu-chan! It's time for school desu!" Su flew in front of Amu's sleeping face, latching onto her nose and smiling like she was in a toothpaste commercial. "WAKEEEE UPPP!"

Amu sat up, shrieking as she saw the green Chara on her nose. "Su! GET OFF ME!"

"Amu-chan? Are you talking to yourself again?" There was a knock on her door and her mom burst in, not waiting for an answer. "You're so silly! Do we need to give you the shot that goes in your bum? You know, the big pointy NEEDLE that we have to coat in ALCOHOL and set on FIRE?"

"N-No!" Amu nervously laughed and grabbed a piece of toast from inside her pajama pants. "See you after school!" She bolted out the room and down the stairs, breezing past her dad and sister who were playing dress up in the living room. Once safely outside, she slowed to a walk and started singing to herself. "Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight. Never running from a real fight! She is the one named Sailor Moon!"

"Feeling a bit childish today, are we?"

"GAH!" Amu jumped back from the face that had popped up in front of her. Ikuto was hanging upside down from a tree. She quickly composed herself, going into Cool-and-Spicy mode. "Of course not. What gave you that idea?"

Ikuto hopped down from the tree, putting his hands into his pockets and grinning. "You're still in your pajamas, and you're singing anime themes… and you're holding a piece of toast."

"Shut up!" She blushed and threw the toast at his head. He managed to catch it before it hit, and threw it into a bush. Amu pouted and crossed her arms. "Just hurry up and tell me what you want."

"Here." He pulled something out from behind his back, tossing it to her and walking off. "I thought you might want it."

Amu looked down at the object. It was a pink teddy bear with a bright blue bow. "Why would I want a bear…?" She glanced up, finding him gone. "I guess I have no choice now…" She turned the bear over, finding a small white circle on its left ear that said, "Press Me!" In complete curiosity, she pressed the ear.

Techno music started playing from the bear's ear, and Amu laughed. A second later, a voice that sounded vaguely similar to Ikuto's came out of it. "So… there's room in my pants for two. Why don't you join me?"

"W-What!?" Amu threw the bear behind her, squealing as she ran away. "PEDOBEAR!"

~*~*~

"Amu-chiii!" Yaya jumped onto her sleeping friend, knocking them both to the ground. "Come help Yaya organize the Lost and Found!"

Amu frowned and squirmed away. "Fine."

"YAAAAYYY!" Yaya dragged Amu towards the principal's office where they kept the Lost and Found. She jumped into the huge pile of discarded sweaters and old books, as well as a moldy looking lunchbox. Yaya emerged a second later, holding something behind her back. "Amu-chiiiii! Look what I found!" She pulled the thing from behind her back. It was a small grey teddy bear wearing red shorts with little black buttons on them. "Isn't he cuuute? Don't you just wanna hug him… and kiss him… and take him out to the movies and go to dinner when it's over?! Walk him home and maybe get to know him afterwards?!"

"Uh… no." Amu backed up, heading towards the door with a frantic look on her face.

"Give him a hug!" At completely random, Yaya launched the bear at Amu. It somehow knocked her over onto her back.

Amu's head spun and she tried to focus in front of her. What she did not expect to see, was the bear sitting on her stomach, her shirt pulled up so it showed her belly button, or Yaya taking pictures with her camera phone. Amu froze under the bear; it seemed to be staring at her chest. Much like Ikuto did when he wasn't stealing the toast from her pants. Amu screamed and swatted at the bear. "GET IT OFF ME! PEDOBEAR!" She rolled over and army crawled out of the office, heading towards her fifth period class.

~*~*~

"Hinamori-san, please answer question number two." Nikaidou looked up from the huge textbook at Amu, who was staring out the window with drool coming out of her mouth. He frowned and picked up a stuffed teddy bear from behind his desk, chucking it at her head. "HINAMORI-SANNN!!!"

"Huh!?" Amu jolted in her seat and looked to the front, just in time to see the bear heading straight for her. "AHHH!!!" She automatically put her hands up to shield herself. The bear bounced off her fingertips, landing on the desk with one stuffed arm inside her shirt. Amu screamed and shoved the bear away. "PEDOBEAR!!!!" She flew out of her chair and scrambled for the door, knocking over desks and shelves.

As she dashed into the hallway, she bumped into a blur of brown. Amu fell onto the ground, a small squeal escaping as she landed on her but. She looked up, finding a life-size teddy bear, a huge satin bow around its neck.

Amu backed up on the ground, scooting away from the bear. "G-Go away! I know taekwondo! And… I-I can beat Through the Fire and Flames on Expert!"

The bear smiled widely, its head doing a full rotation and its eyes turning a dark red. "I love you, Amu-chan, don't you want to play with me?" She gaped as the bear seemed to move closer, until it was falling over her and she couldn't get away. "We're going to be together _forever_."

~*~*~

"NOOO!!" Amu bolted straight up in bed and gasped for breath, her face covered in a thin veil of sweat.

"Hinamori-san?!" Tadase shook his friend's shoulder lightly. "Are you okay? Do you still feel sick?"

She blinked and stared at his face. "I'm sick…?"

"Your mother told us this morning. You had a really high fever and you wouldn't wake up no matter what we did." He smiled timidly at her and slightly laughed. "Yaya-chan even tried putting naked pictures of Ikuto under your nose."

"She _what_?"

"N-Never mind about that!" Tadase nervously laughed and looked at the floor, embarassed. "Yaya-chan also has a gift for you…"

"Abracadabra!" Yaya popped out from behind a chair, causing Amu to fly off her bed and Tadase to scream. She was wearing a sparkly black dress and had a top hat on her head. She pulled off the hat and wiggled her fingers over the opening. "And now… I present Amu-chi's gift!" She flipped the hat over and out popped a bear, right onto Amu's chest at her feet.

Amu's face went white as she drew in breath to scream. "AHHHHH!" The sudden noise made Yaya jump onto the bed, but not before bumping the hat on the side of the bed.

"Surprise!" Nagihiko fell out of the hat and pulled off his fake face and clothes, revealing an unknown stranger in a brown bear suit.

"B-But you… and she… pedobear… and!" Amu looked between the three people and bear in her room, then fainted on the floor.

* * *

**Miyako: Hehehe… -eye twitches-**

**Ikuto: I kinda liked that first bear…**

**Miyako: So how did YOU ****like it Amu!? HUH!?**

**Amu: -crawls in a corner- I l-liked it! V-Very m-m-much!**

**Miyako: Good… cause I'll have more chapters later…**

**Amu: What?!**

**Miyako: That's right! Reviewers can submit some ideas for more internet memes to use! WOOO! And I'll probably reply to reviews out of boredom! But! No dirty memes… you know what I'm talking about! -points to random person-**

**Random Person: Huh? What did I do?**

**Ikuto: Nothing. Now get the hell out my chat.**

**Random Person: Yes sir! -salutes and walks off-**

**Amu: I want my mommy!**

**Miyako: R&R! MUHAHAHAHAA!**


	2. Lolcats

**Miyako: Teehee!**

**Ikuto: Teehee?**

**Miyako: No time to explain! Replies to revoos first! Doo doo doo…**

**ShugoCharaLuvr: **Glad you liked it! Although I don't find it hilarious… I guess that's because I'm the one writing it! O.o;

**Ichigo1010: **It was amazing? Not fantabeautilicious? Or superawesomecakes?! Those aren't even words, but thanks for the compliment! And you're welcomes! ^^

**Cami Camcam-Chan: **That's a lot of Haha's… I think I counted eighteen! Thank youz! :D

**J-Pop-addict: **Yes, it is an awesome song! :O And I'm making more! YAAAAY!

**AmuletSpadeTheNekoVersion: **What's a meme… o.o! Well -goes into dictionary mode- here are some definitions! In a dictionary: a meme (pronounced 'MEEM') is an idea, behavior, style, or usage that spreads from person to person within a culture. And then in Urban Dictionary: a short phrase, picture, or combo of the two that gets repeated in message boards and chats. -dictionary mode over- Like how in 4chan every other person says "You sir, are an idiot." Or all those Chuck Norris jokes. Get it? Great! NOW SUBMIT ONE! :O

**xMirrorImagex: **I'm sorry you fell outta your chair, shame on me for makin you laugh! And thanks for the suggestions =X !! I used the first one for now. And RIP to Oolong… I LOVED THAT BUNNY! D=

**Miyako: Hmm, now we can start! BUT YOU PEOPLE NEED TO SEND IN MORE MEMES! –stabs keyboard with a fork-**

**Ikuto: Miyako doesn't own Shugo Chara… or Lolcats, I think.**

**

* * *

**

"Amu-chiiii! Look at this cute picture of a cat!" Yaya jumped onto the table in front of her friend, knocking over a box of donuts. She instantly forgot the picture and attacked the donuts that were sticking to the floor. "DONUTSSSS!!! ZOMG BBQ!"

Donut chunks flew everywhere until Rima came over and slapped Yaya's face, forcing the donut in her mouth to fly into a patch of flowers. "Stop getting distracted and show Amu the picture!"

"WAAA! Rima-tan's a meanie!" Yaya cried but jumped up to shove her phone in front of Amu's face. "See?! It's cute!"

Amu blinked but looked at the picture on the screen. She rolled her eyes and pushed it back. "How is that cute?"

The picture was taken of an orange cat in mid air, its legs out in front of it. Someone had put a caption at the bottom that said _INVISIBLE BIKE._

"What are you talking about? It's cute and clever!" Yaya pushed the picture in her friend's face again. "WANNA SEE ANOTHER?!"

"NO!"

"TOO BAD!" Yaya clicked some buttons on the phone and another cat picture came up. It was of a gray and white cat jumping in air with a front paw stretched out and its body curved at an angle. A Pokéball had been edited in near the cat's paw. The caption was _Bulbasaur! I chooz u!_

"What the hell? That's not funny either!" Amu stood up and threw her hands in the air.

"What's with all the yelling?" Kukai walked in and looked at Yaya's phone. He suddenly started laughing and fell on the floor. "OMG LOL!!!"

"It's not funny!" Amu smacked her forehead, shaking her head in disappointment.

Rima sat back down at the table and sipped her tea. "Just remember Amu: every time you lol some kid drops their ice cream cone and their parents don't buy another one."

Kukai sighed and stopped laughing. "That's just cruel. Now I can't laugh anymore."

"You guys are a bunch of morons. Do you drink idiotsauce for breakfast or something?" Amu rolled her eyes and walked out.

"You know you like it Amu. And when you go home, you're going to look up Lolcats. I KNOW YOU WILL!!!" Yaya's voice echoed after the pink haired girl as she left the Garden.

"She's not going to look it up." Rima picked a donut up off the floor, chucking it at the back of Kukai's head.

"I know that, Rima-tan." Yaya grinned evilly, holding a flashlight under her face and laughing. "Which is why teh lolcats will follow her until she does! MUAHAHAHAH!" As she laughed, the batteries in her flashlight died and the bulb went out. She frowned and shook the flashlight until it flickered on again. "Stupid batteries."

"I told you not to buy batteries at a gas station."

~*~*~

"Amuuuu-channnn." Ikuto whined and grabbed onto Amu's arm, snuggling into the bed with her.

She twitched, pushing away from him for enough room to breathe. "What?"

He pouted and blinked innocently at her, his blue kitty ears popping up. "Entertain me."

"…" Before he could laugh at her bright red face, she kicked him off the bed and threw a pillow at his face. "What makes you think I'm your entertainment?!" Amu crawled to the edge of the mattress, glaring down at him. "And you aren't allowed to… what the _hell_?" Her mouth popped open and her eyes went wide.

"What?" He stared at her, the furry ears on his head twitching. Out of thin air, words appeared in Amu's vision. Within seconds, she could clearly read _Hai, I's fluffy!_ right in front of Ikuto. Of course, he didn't see the words. He only saw a pink haired girl staring at him in confusion. Curiously, Ikuto reached up and poked her forehead. "Are you sick or something? You've been staring for thirty seconds. That's considered mind rape in some countries."

"Shut up! Don't you see it?" She put her hand out to touch the words. Of course, her fingers went right through and touched Ikuto's mouth. Amu squeaked and pulled her hand back. "W-Well you don't need me to show you! Those words are clearly there!"

He tilted his head to the side. "What words?" At the movement of his head, the words changed so that they read _I can has cheezburger? _She blinked and moved back from him, her eyes switching between the words and his face. Ikuto stood up and got onto the bed. "What the heck is with you? Amu?"

She gasped when the words changed again because of his new position, he was crawling towards her on the bed._ I are teh sexy beast! _Amu stuck her foot out, pushing him in the chest. "Go away Ikuto! Get in your corner or something!"

"My corner?" He raised an eyebrow and moved closer to her. "You must be _really_ sick. Maybe I should..."

"No! Get in y-y-your corner n-now!" She stammered and pushed at him again. He sighed but moved off the bed, going to 'his corner.' Once situated, he faced the wall of the small corner, and the words changed. _Emo cat is emooo_. Amu twitched and scampered off the bed, a piece of toast falling from her pants. "MOOOM! I NEED MY SHOT!"

"Yay! I just _love_ the needle!" Her mom floated into the room, a pair of cat ears on her head. She frowned at what she saw, her crazy daughter standing in the middle of the room with some boy in the corner. "And _what_ exactly is going on here?" Words popped up in front of Midori too. _I c wut u did thar._

Amu blinked and laughed nervously, backing away from her mother. "Nothing at all! You just have words like Ikuto does…" She looked over at Ikuto, surprised to find that he was reading her diary with a grin on his face. The words changed once again. _Lol wut?_

"I didn't know you grew another bra size, Amu. You always look so flat." He looked up at her, the grin getting wider. _I'z in yur room, invadin yur privasee._

"Shut up!" She ran over and grabbed the diary, then zoomed out the room and down the stairs.

Her dad sat in the living room, using the laptop. As she tripped over a toy cat, he noticed her. "Something wrong, Amu-chan?"

She scrambled to stand up and scratched the back of her head. "Everything's perfect! I'm just…" Her eyes went wide as she saw the cat ears on his head. "Oh noes."

Tsumugu stared at her curiously, not noticing the words materializing in front of him. _I'm on ur PC, stealin ur internets._

"That's it! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!" Amu grabbed the laptop from her dad. He already had the internet open, so she immediately typed 'lolcats' into the search bar. She clicked the second link and was redirected to some page. A site came up with a banner of a cat laughing. Amu scrolled down and clicked on the first picture she saw.

It was a cat that had a taco photo-shopped as its body. The caption was in black and yellow letters. _I r a taco… I is nootrishus and tasty._

Amu smiled, trying to hold back a laugh. Suddenly, she burst out laughing and ran from the room. "Okay I admit it! Lolcats are funny! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!" She continued laughing out loud until her sides hurt and she was gasping for breath. "LOLCATS ARE FUNNY! THEY'RE FUNNY AND CUTE!"

~*~*~

Nagihiko sat on a bench in the park, licking at an ice cream cone. Suddenly, there was a gust of wind and the ice cream flew out of his hands. He sighed and stood up, dusting off his pants and turning to his mom. "Can I go get another?"

"No! That's a sign that you shouldn't be eating ice cream!" His mother jumped up dramatically, putting a hand to her forehead and sighing. "Dancers should be eating good foods! How about I buy you some fresh carrots?" She waited for no answer and skipped off merrily, leaving her son with the ice cream that was melting near his shoes.

He glared at the ground and clenched his hands into fists. "Damn you, Amu."

* * *

**Miyako: Aww, poor Nagi. But I luffs him.**

**Nagihiko: She luffs me.**

**Miyako: Yush, I luffs him!**

**Ikuto: We get it!**

**Amu: I hate this so much.**

**Miyako: Shut your face! And you! Yes you that's reading this! SUBMIT SOME MEMES! Or something…**

**Ikuto: R&R before she stabs the keyboard with a fork again.**


End file.
